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Sunday, August 19, 2012

.sinful pleasures

A confession of a couple of quite bad addictions I happen to suffer from and don't even bother to get treatment for.

1- Shisha (Hookah) 

This is an addiction that was conceived in happiness and leisure, raised in rage and depression, has grown to be my only refuge and is consuming every last part of me (including my honesty).

First time I have huffed a puff was approximately 4 years ago, when the females in my family were all around, and new beautiful bonds were forming, along with all these sweet moments it was introduced by an older and rather awesome one of us. But things happen and people depart, physically of course, we cannot ever be detached emotionally, we integrate each other. I am not assuming, but entirely positive that I took off the habit by myself because subconsciously, it reminded me of a much better, much simpler time, it's like I have extracted the parts of those memories that is the easiest to recreate and went ahead with it.

The bad part is, I am not being able to let go, I have tried, financial crisis didn't stop me, physical damage didn't stop, disapproval of loved ones didn't effect me.. I don't know what else well, and I don't want to get to the moment where I no longer have a choice.

My father was a heavy smoker, and he quit due to a severe illness he encountered, my uncle passed away because of his tobacco consumption, this is exactly what I do not want, I want to quit while I am still strong, but I am honest enough with myself to admit that I do not see it happening anytime soon...




To be continued..