Wednesday, April 15, 2015

.and then there was Adam

An unexpected visitor, at an unexpected time, with an unexpected name choice
(he was planned though lol)

On November 8th of 2013, my fairytale dream came true by marrying the wind that has blown beneath my wings for several years going quiet unnoticed for the majority of them, my wonder wall whom I now have the honour to call my husband.
My life has continued at the same pace it was going at prior to the marriage, the same dull routine, same boring job that got even more boring as the days went by, same outings, same friends, circles, places..etc. As lifeless as it may sound, I was quiet content with it that way, I was in no place for taking risks or engaging in new experiences as I thought to myself I had already done that by getting married, nothing major had changed in my routine but that is undoubtedly a major chapter.

And then all of a sudden, hit the maternal instincts, and the question that my husband dreaded for weeks before the pregnancy, and which made him question the exact level of maturity his wife was on:
"how come I am not pregnant yet? We've been married for a good amount of time now!"

Needless to say, I was quiet naive and uninformed, doing a laboratory test just to be one hundred percent certain, I found out about my pregnancy when I was around 8 weeks far along!

When I got the lab results, I was nothing like I would have imagined myself to be, long before getting married I always thought of pregnancy and labour as this horrifying experience that I simply wouldn't want to go through under any circumstances what so ever, and if my maternal instincts were to kick, I'd get a pet and call it a day. But it was completely different, I was not happy, I was euphoric, to see the least.

I was just seeing so vividly how beautiful this wild ride is going to be, and how much both my pea in the pod and I are going to enjoy it, every milestone, every trimester, every growth spurt, every development and every single moment of it all, I knew it was going to be priceless. I was utterly unafraid, I had a relatively large ovarian cyst that absolutely meant nothing, the cesarean meant nothing, as long as it all led to me meeting the light of my eyes.

On October 19th 2014, I delivered my baby "Adam", not only had a new chapter of my life just begun, I felt like that was the first day of my life.

The first week post partum was very difficult for me giving the c-section (obviously I acknowledge that women who give vaginal birth go through hell and back as well), but I can recall how painful it was not being able to eat,rest,sleep, pass anything,, or even talk due to how much pain I was feeling.

I remember the moment I woke up after the surgery, I was hungover, on a hospital bed in the post-surgery transfer room, on the other side of the wall, there was a woman going into labour and she was screaming bloody murder, I grabbed the closest nurse to me in a way that felt like it was straight out of a horror flick and I recall whispering to her "get me out of here". She did, out of fear, I'd like to believe.

When I had arrived to my room at the hospital, Adam was not there, which freaked me out! See, watching a lot of TV, I always assumed the mother and newborn stay at the same room, but apparently no :D they would bring him to me every four hours, which was devastating, I couldn't get enough of looking at him, I remember the first time I held him in my arms and my husband wanted to take him from me to send him back to the nursery, I yelled: "no, he's mine!". Well , he is. :/

Going back home with the baby was very easy, two weeks before giving birth I had set up everything I might need, which made transiting him from the hospital to the house very easy, and he made it very easy as well, Adam was a very peaceful newborn, he had a very precise schedule of feeding and sleeping that he fell into on his own, and he would only cry a little bit when waking up hungry, but there were no unexplained  fits of crying of any sort (at least not until the dreaded phase were that is expected to happen).

Now as the days go by, I find that every stage has its beauty and its own challenges as well, but so far it has been a magnificent experience, watching my little guy grow from a ball of fragile flesh into this travel sized human being with an ever developing bright personality, and the connection I have with him is indescribable. I will do whatever it takes, but I need to pray that i have the strength and ability to be the best mother you could ever ask for, my everything <3 nbsp="" p="">